Monday, November 2, 2009

mirror, mirror on the wall

Who is the biggest arsehole of them all? In unison now, N the philanderer - the meanest, most spiteful, vengeful, most pitiable loser of them all!

The idiot's latest riposte in the War of the Roses is to throw his toys out of the pram because I thwarted him with regard to his quite serious heart problems. He tried to hide these, as it was quite crucial in the division of the pensions. So - I got hold of his medical reports and produced them for the authorities. He retaliated by getting his lawyers to state that I was grossly overweight, clinically obese, and because of these factors had a very shortened life expectancy and this cancelled out his heart problems; I was told to have a medical at my expense! I was married to this jerk, this turd under the heel of all decent people, for 41 years. He subsequently told my younger daughter that I was a butterball!

This is chldish, but I am fighting for my very existence and this pathetic apology for a man wouldstrip me of my very being if he could - he has stopped my maintenance, saying he cannot afford it, this man who has pocketed at least £200,000 since I chucked him out Dear, dear, as I said, an arsehole. Now, come on, everyone, write in and say what you think of this man.

It's funny - a whole life flushed down the drain, but I am not depressed any more. I feel energised. I have cleansed the Augean stables and life is sweet and the air is pure at last.

Last night, I drove over to Bedfordshire to see my lovely girlfriend who was widowed three months ago, to go to a special All Souls Evensong service at her local church. This was in memory of the people of the Parish who had died during the past year, and to commemorate people who had died previously. It was desperately poignant and we sat there remembering dear gentle I, about whom I have written previously, and dear R was inconsolable whilst we sang lovely hymns, and then there was a rollcall of all the names of the people we were honouring. I sat thinking what a wonderful marriage R and I had enjoyed, the mutual love and respect that they had for each other and how empty life was for her now, but that she had such wonderful memories of their time together. I sat deep in thought, thinking what an empty shell my marriage had been - tainted by the constant infidelities and lies and the failure to appreciate that what we had could have been so good and rewarding. Time to move on. Carpe Diem.


Anonymous said...

Sorry to say so - but your ex is like the rest of them! When mine skipped off into the sunset and 'freedom', he promised me and the children everything (which I didn't believe). He never paid a cent to my children, even though when I eventually managed to divorce him it was written in the agreement - I actually looked after my children financially and physically 100% whilst he went off on expensive holidays and bought new cars. I could have had him imprisoned but didn't ... non-payment of alimony in France is taken very seriously.

What can I say apart from the fact that revenge is a dish better eaten cold! I came through it a much stronger person, I think my children admire me for forging ahead and the ex's 'freedom' was short-lived as the replacement (so ugly, my dear!) locked him up and threw away the key ...

Think you will have to pull out all the stops and fight dirty - a shame though, as divorce in itself is a messy business.

Thinking of you!

Wildernesschic said...

Words can only make you stronger when someone hits back like that you know you have struck a raw nerve, sad that it comes to all this destruction .. try to let go xxxx

Looking Fab in your forties said...

R&I may have had a wonderful marriage but R probably wishes she had the one thing you do, 2 beautiful and supportive daughters! it would all be so much worse for you if you didn't have them but you shouldn't have all this worry and what did he mean by "butterball" Bastard!

Anonymous said...

It's so sad, when one has loved someone, and then, be betrayed in so many ways..I am sorry you are going through this.
I am just now starting down the road to a divorce, and I take strength in your attitude...You will be fine, but it does hurt, doesn't it?

carla_fern said...

'Seize the day' is right Aurora, you are so much more than this man who has resorted to name calling, can you imagine how ridiculous to be a petulant man acting like a 4 year old. What's next, stomping his foot and holding his breath? Quite something for you to picture in your mind and chuckle about.
Wishing you all the best, xoxo

everybodysaysdont said...

All the Very best to you, Good luck with it all, Hope it improves soon, and take care xxxx

Miss Whistle said...

Oh, how horrible for you.
My brother always says, and I do know that this is easier said than done:
Rise Above It.
It's worth a try, perhaps.
Sending love & support into the ether from California.

xx Miss W

Marie said...

What a nasty toad. I truly feel for you, that after so much of your life given to him and to your children he will behave like this. Perhaps his comeuppance will be soon... M x

justmeagain said...

I think the saddest thing about an acrimonious break up, is that it leads you to doubt that there were ever good times, and effectively robs you of your past, as well as everything else. Particularly when there are children, grown up or not, it seems to me to be unforgivable to spoil those memories. Because relationships may not be for life, but surely parenting should be? Shame on him. That he will undoubtedly reap what he has sown, may or may not comfort you.
Its good to see that you are finding a place for yourself.

Red Lipstick Style said...

Good for you for not being angry. What a turd he sounds like. I mentioned before that my mom lost EVERYTHING in my parents war of the roses, and a few years ago, because of "who he knew" she had no rights what so ever. He went as far a saying that she could easily disappear, all the while telling me that I should always respect my mother?! Ummm something sounds crazy here! You sound like you are really using the legal resources to fight your fight - good for you. I read your daughter's blog everyday and you two are both gems!

I adore you and your blog, you remind me so much of my mom, even though you have alot more legal knowledge; my mom is almost 80 now.

Christina Lindsay said...

I love reading your blog, you write beautifully. I hope you find writing it cathartic. I'm so sorry to hear your ex husband is behaving like an prize idiot. I'm sure you'll get everything you clearly deserve financially and very soon feel stronger and much happier without him xx

Chic Mama said...

It's amazing how cruel people become isn't it. Everyday I question what happened to my husband to change so much. I am floored that he can treat me this way, let alone our five children.
Reading your posts, and others it seems there are so many 'men' like it. Quite depressing really.
I hope things start improving soon so that you don't have to deal with him anymore.
Take care of yourself.

Anonymous said...

He's insulting your intelligence by being the lowest of the low There is no doubt you'll rise above it with splendour. Peace and serenity are on your side certainly not his.
Take care.