Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Que sera sera

I feel like a spy - maintaining radio silence in case the enemy is listening in to my clandestine broadcasts.

There is definitely some dark force at work preventing me going about my daily business. Now - in a rare moment of freedom - I have both internet access and broadband coverage. It is a strange feeling to be bereft of the chance to communicate when the mood dictates, to be at the mercy of modern communications technology, and its frequent failures whilst living in the depths of the countryside.

Well, we are half way through April, the third April living my solitary existence, and still no house sale in the offing, and no further on my journey to a new life that is hopefully waiting to embrace me.

It is exhausting, this business of always being ready for a possible viewing of my house. Cushions plumped, dog hair hoovered up and the dog beds hidden, also the bowl of biscuits in the bedroom, the cooker spotless, the sink sparkling. Phew!

To expand on my previous polemic about the young and their sense of entitlement, what is it that makes them decide to view houses way beyond their pockets and then to pretend that they wish to buy, only to retract almost immediately and fade away into the distance? It is s seriously unpleasant trait, and one that needs to be stamped out. Today I had a young woman who, amongst other criticisms, said that the house had no view! No, only two and a half acres, and an uninterrupted view of them to boot - and as the house lies in a lane, on the outskirts of a village, is unlikely therefore to have rolling hills upon to which to feast one's eyes. She also said there were a lot of alterations she would wish to make.

Unfortunately for her, a mutual friend, on hearing that this young woman had been to see my house, told me that there was absolutely no way that she could afford to buy it. So definitely no makeover of my house et al. So - here we go yet again.

Well, here I am, no further forward, but to be frank, the weather has been glorious, and I am able to enjoy yet another Spring here The wisteria outide the kitchen french windows is smelling magical in the late afternoon warmth, the cherry blossom positively bridal, big puffs of exquisite white blossom, more prolific than for many a year The grape hyacinths are the most intense blue, the grass a vivid lush green, the bees are buzzing round the blossom, and I am happy to be remaining in my much loved home for the time being. Que sera sera.

I am continuing to empty cupboards, drawers and shelves, how can a family accumulate so much, so many random possessions Today, I put out three bin liners for the monthly collection by the Salvation Army. There will be many more, as yet more sorting out and pruning takes place

In the past, when the Senior Daughter and I started the cleansing of the Augean stables, we used to sit for hours, reminiscing and remembering, but now, I just chuck everything on to piles, shove it into the bin liners for the designated charity, and off it goes. It is a strange feeling, this binning of a family's past life, at some stage everything must have meant something to one of us, but now is consigned to oblivion.

I remember when my mother died in Spain, the Senior Daughter and I flew out to sort out the apartment and my mother's possessions. It was very poignant - my mother relinquished her responsibility as a mother to me when I was tiny, and I was brought up by her parents, my mother flitting in and out of my life as she pleased. We sat on the floor of the apartment, and went through letters, photographs, treasured possessions, and I realised how little I knew about my mother. There were many photographs of her life before the Second World War, and afterwards when I was growing up away from her, none of them meant anything to me, so we reluctantly decided to destroy them rather than bring it all home to England. That was when I first realised how transient is life, one moment we are alive, and mean something to someone, the next, we are gone, and life continues on its way. A sobering thought.

So - I must plan my new life, and not look back - I must be thankful for the life I have lived so far, dwell on the positives, remember the good times, and hope, that when my life on earth draws to a close, that my treasured possessions will mean something to those loved ones I leave behind.


Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

It must be so annoying waiting for something to happen. I'm surprised your house hasn't sold. I remember your pictures from last year and your garden is beautiful, hopefully when everything is in flower someone will snap it up just for that!

I'm glad to hear your internet problems are sorted out. I have a minor nervous breakdown if anything goes wrong with mine.

I really enjoy your blog and your writing but in all the time I've been following you, you've never visited mine. Do you not read other people's blogs?

Have a wonderful weekend xx

Anonymous said...

First and foremost, count your blessings. Yes, blessings. You have your health, your daughters, your wonderful pets, and a lovely roof over your head. There's a master plan here. You can't see it. You love your home. You love all your landscape, bushes, trees, flowers, shrubs, etc. You talk about them by name.It's your comfort level. You have friends, church and who knows what else. The big thing is you have your health. I don't think you think about that. You have the ability not only to communicate with the outside world (and we are reading you), but to do it it in such eloquent language. If you can do that and have good physical health, you also have the ability to decide if your glass is half empty, or half full. You have to decide to have good emotional health too. It's how you decide to look at it. I'd say your glass is half full. Don't get dragged down by the shoulda, woulda, etc. stuff. You have today. None of us know tomorrow.

Now, as to your home viewings. I am a seasoned New York (Long Island) real estate broker. When we have a property such as yours, the listing broker and agent want to see a buyer's financial ability before they waste a seller's time or their own on a showing. I'm assuming you have an acre or more -- as a seller, you can demand that (the broker checking the buyer's financial ability) Young 20 something's are not buyers, they are lookers, and rarely have the capital to purchase a property such as yours. You are only looking for ONE specific buyer, who will see your property the way you do. I am assuming you are being realistic about your price, or at least reviewing it every so many months. If you get 3 offers in the same price range, maybe thar's where the market is settling right now. You don't have to accept any price. You can accept, reject or counter. But if the offers are coming in really low,maybe the broker should evaluate who's being allowed to look at the house/property, and if the pricing is comparable to recently solds in the area. For what it's worth, that's my opinion. Real Estate is still on the downside no matter what you hear. But maybe you are not meant to sell now. I have to sign Anonymous otherwise this comment won't go through. Please know I am sincere in my words. I always read you, rarely comment.

Michelle Trusttum said...

Aurora - I'm sure I would love your house just as it is: the lane, the two and a half acres, and wisteria outside your kitchen windows. More importantly, I sense that you still love it very much.
My husband's parents' house has just been demolished after suffering severe damage during the February earthquake in Christchurch. Almost everything inside went down with it.
As much as our treasures are often ours alone, there is a tremendous grief associated with seeing a family's home pushed over by a digger with a saw-toothed bucket; the loss of a sense of place is enormous.
We are too quick to bend a house to our will. I think we should live with the idiosyncrasies and let a house reveal itself and shape the way we live in it. It's often better than creating me-too spaces that could be anywhere.
I hope for such a buyer for your house.