Monday, June 29, 2009

A Life Reclaimed? - a misnomer

It is 11 months since circumstances made it imperative that I took a deep breath, and unceremoniously chucked out the philandering husband.

Was this a wise move? Oh yes, but a life reclaimed? Not yet.

Unravelling a 43 year old relationship is not easy. One could say that it had been unravelling for quite some time, but human nature dictates that there is always an excuse for not taking that final decision. Instinct tells you that your partner is being serially unfaithful but somehow, you do not want to admit it to yourself. This time, the woman concerned pulled the plug by texting my husband in our hotel room in France, whilst we were away on a trip to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary! We drove straight home across France, ansd out he went within ten minutes of arriving home. Bin bags of his belongings were dumped on her drive within days and boy, what a catharthis. So - in a way I owe a debt of gratitude to her. The philandering husband, like all cowards, tried to say that there was nothing in it, and he had not intended to leave me for her. Oh well, he has got her now, and I almost hug myself because she is a grasping slapper, a serial targetter of marriages, twice married herself,with an appalling reputation, and she thinks my husband is a rich entrepreneur, but of course, he is not, as she will find out when the divorce is finalised. Oh joy - they deserve each other.

Now - how do I reclaim my life?

One of the few present benefits is tucking myself up in my large bed each night, pile of books and the Daily Telegraph crossword beside me, and my two dogs curled up like the Annie Tempest cartoon, "Shall I put another dog on the bed?"

Another joy is the peace, and the tidy house and the second glass of wine without the comment "Are you sure you need another glass of wine?" And - the weight loss! Two and a half stone! And the clothes - I have so many - because everything fits me. A good thing - because there will never now be any money for new ones. Actually, I don't care.

My social life is quite different, but, thanks to close friends, I am scooped up from time to time to do jolly things, if not the things I used to do. Dinner parties, drinks parties, parties in general are a little thin on the ground, and I miss the foreign travel and the exotic holidays. But, hey, the English summer, especially at the present time, is idyllic. And I am slowly unfolding.

There is a new life out there and I will slowly find it.


everybodysaysdont said...

Good luck! :-)

The Barrister said...

The Times crossword is more engaging. Fewer synonyms and cleverer clues from which you can actually learn new words ('fotheringay' comes to mind) ;D

Anonymous said...

I know I'm a little late to comment on this as it's a blog post from last year, but I've only just discovered your wonderful blog and had to write and say that I find it incredibly courageous and hugely inspiring!

Taking that first step out of an unhappy relationship must have been really disorientating at first, but it sounds like you've slowly found your feet and your voice, and your own identity. Wonderful!

I'll also add this to my blogroll.

Hope you're having a wonderful summer!


Lara (The Moderately Intrepid Traveller)